Questions to Ask Yourself: 120 for Reflection

What are good questions to ask yourself?

Good questions to ask yourself are specific, open and about real moments, like "What gave me energy today?" rather than "Am I happy?" Below are 120 self-reflection questions in eight themes: daily, weekly, getting to know yourself, values and purpose, career, relationships, hard days and the end of the year.

You do not need to answer them all. One good question a day, answered honestly for five minutes, does more than a list of 50 read once.

How do you use self-reflection questions?

1. Pick one question. Choose the theme that fits today, then the question that makes you pause.
2. Write the answer down. Writing slows your thinking and lets you see patterns later. Five minutes is enough. Fragments count.
3. Ask "why?" once, then "what now?" Go one layer deeper, then end with a small next step. Stop there.
4. Use the same moment each day. After dinner, on the bus home or before bed. A fixed moment makes the habit stick.
5. Reread once a month. The value is often in the patterns: the same drain, the same person, the same wish.
6. Repeat a question later. Ask the same question in three months and compare your answers.

If you prefer to be handed a question, the journal prompt finder gives you one at a time and prints a 30-day prompt calendar.

Which questions should you start with?

Daily questions to ask yourself

For the end of the day, in two to five minutes. Pick one or two, not all of them.

1. What gave me energy today, and what drained it?
2. What is one thing that went well, and what part did I play in it?
3. When did I feel most like myself today?
4. What did I avoid today, and why?
5. What am I still thinking about from today?
6. Who made my day a little better?
7. What did I learn today, even something small?
8. What would I do differently if I had today again?
9. Did I spend my time on what I said matters to me?
10. What am I looking forward to tomorrow?
11. What is one small thing I can do tomorrow to make it easier?
12. What did my body need today, and did it get it?
13. What emotion showed up most today?
14. What am I proud of today?
15. What can I let go of before I sleep?

Weekly reflection questions

For a 15-minute review on Friday afternoon or Sunday evening. The weekly review tool walks you through the same steps.

1. What were my three best moments this week?
2. What did I finish, and what did I keep postponing?
3. Which habit did I keep, and which one slipped?
4. What took more time than it deserved?
5. Where did I say yes when I meant no?
6. Who do I want to see or call next week?
7. What is one thing I learned about how I work best?
8. What drained me this week, and can I change it?
9. What would make next week 10% easier?
10. What are the three things that matter most next week?
11. What am I worried about, and what can I actually do about it?
12. What did I do just for fun this week?
13. Did I rest enough? What got in the way?
14. What do I want to stop doing next week?
15. What is one thing I can do on Monday morning to start well?

Questions to get to know yourself

Self-discovery questions about what you like, how you work and what you are like on a normal day.

1. What do I do when nobody is asking anything of me?
2. What did I love doing as a child that I no longer do?
3. What do people often thank me for?
4. What topics could I talk about for an hour?
5. When do I lose track of time?
6. What kind of tired do I feel most often: bored, busy or worn out?
7. What do I pretend to like but do not?
8. What do I need more of: quiet, people, challenge or rest?
9. How do I usually react when plans change?
10. What compliment do I find hardest to accept, and why?
11. Which three words would my closest friend use to describe me?
12. What am I curious about right now?
13. What does a perfect ordinary day look like for me?
14. What do I keep saying I will do "someday"?
15. What have I changed my mind about in the last few years?

Questions about values and purpose

Deeper questions about what matters to you. Take one per sitting and come back to it later.

1. What do I want my life to be about?
2. What are my top five values, and where do they show up in my week?
3. When did I feel proud of a choice that was hard to make?
4. What would I do if I were not afraid of looking foolish?
5. What do I want people to say about me when I am not in the room?
6. What would I keep doing even if nobody noticed?
7. What injustice or problem do I care about most?
8. What does enough look like for me: money, work, things?
9. Whose life do I admire, and what exactly do I admire about it?
10. What do I want more of in the next five years? Less of?
11. What rules am I following that are not mine?
12. What am I tolerating that I no longer want to tolerate?
13. What would my 80-year-old self thank me for starting now?
14. If I had one free year, what would I do with it?
15. What does a good life mean to me, in one sentence?

Career and work questions

For a career check-in, a job decision or a review at the end of a quarter.

1. Which parts of my work do I look forward to?
2. Which tasks do I put off every single time?
3. What am I better at than I was a year ago?
4. What skill would make the biggest difference in my work next year?
5. Do I want more responsibility, more freedom or more balance right now?
6. Who at work energizes me, and who drains me?
7. What would I do if I could not fail at work?
8. What is my work giving me besides money?
9. Am I learning, earning or both? Is that the mix I want?
10. What would I need to see to know it is time to move on?
11. What feedback have I heard more than once?
12. What does a good workday look like for me, hour by hour?
13. Where do I want to be in three years, and what is one step toward it?
14. What boundary would protect my best working hours?
15. If I started over, would I choose this field again?

Questions about relationships

About friends, family and partners. Useful alone, and some make good conversation starters.

1. Who do I feel most like myself around?
2. Who have I lost touch with that I miss?
3. What do I need from the people closest to me that I have not asked for?
4. How do I show care, and how do I like to receive it?
5. Which relationship takes more than it gives right now?
6. Who can I call on a hard day, and do they know that?
7. When did I last tell someone what they mean to me?
8. What pattern keeps repeating in my relationships?
9. What conversation am I avoiding?
10. How do I act when I feel left out?
11. What kind of friend do I want to be this year?
12. Who do I want to spend more time with, and what is stopping me?
13. What do I admire about my partner, family or closest friend?
14. Where do I need to apologize, and where do I need to forgive?
15. Who would I like to meet or get closer to this year?

Questions to ask yourself on a hard day

Gentle questions for when you feel low, stuck or overwhelmed. Keep the answers short.

1. What do I need right now: rest, food, movement, company or quiet?
2. What is the next small step, not the whole plan?
3. What would I say to a friend who felt like this?
4. Is this a problem to solve or a feeling to wait out?
5. What is in my control today, and what is not?
6. What has helped me before when I felt this way?
7. Who could I tell about this?
8. What can wait until tomorrow?
9. What story am I telling myself, and is it the only one?
10. What is one thing that is still okay?
11. How will this matter in a week? In a year?
12. What would make the next hour slightly better?
13. Have I eaten, had water and been outside today?
14. What am I asking of myself that is too much today?
15. What is one kind thing I can do for myself tonight?

Year-end reflection questions

For December or your birthday. The year in review tool saves your answers and prints them.

1. What were the three best moments of my year?
2. What did I do for the first time this year?
3. What am I most proud of?
4. What was the hardest thing, and how did I get through it?
5. What did I learn about myself?
6. Which habits helped me most, and which ones held me back?
7. Who were the most important people in my year?
8. What did I spend too much time, money or energy on?
9. What did I say no to that I am glad about?
10. What book, place or idea changed how I think?
11. What do I want to leave behind in this year?
12. What word sums up this year? What word do I want for next year?
13. What three things do I want to do next year?
14. What small habit would make next year better?
15. What would make next year a good year, even if nothing big happens?

A 7-day self-reflection starter

To keep going after week one, the 30-day journaling plan gives you one small step a day, and you can build your own journaling plan with reminders on your phone.

Is self-reflection always good for you?

Not always. Psychologists separate reflection, thinking about yourself out of curiosity, from rumination, going over the same worries again and again. In Trapnell and Campbell's 1999 research, these were two different patterns: reflection was linked with openness to experience, while rumination was linked with neuroticism, the tendency toward negative emotions.

A few signs you have slipped from reflecting into ruminating: you keep asking "why me?", you feel worse after writing every time, or the same thought loops without a next step. If that happens, close the notebook, switch to a "what now?" question or a short walk, and try again another day.

If questions bring up something heavy, or you have felt low for two weeks or more, talk to someone you trust or a doctor. In the US you can call or text 988 any time.

What does research say about writing your answers down?

Most research is on expressive writing: writing about thoughts and feelings for 15 to 20 minutes over a few days. A meta-analysis of 146 randomized studies found a small average benefit, with results that varied widely between studies. So writing your answers is worth trying, but it is not a cure, and some days it will feel worse before it feels better. The research summary on expressive writing and journaling covers what was studied and what it does not show.

Common mistakes with questions to ask yourself

• Answering in your head only. Thoughts drift. Write at least three lines.
• Asking only big questions. "What is my purpose?" is hard on a Tuesday. Mix in small, concrete ones.
• Judging the answer. Write what is true, not what sounds good.
• Doing 20 at once. One or two a day keeps it light and repeatable.
• Never acting on it. End each session with one small next step.

Where to go next

• For more writing ideas, see the 70 journal prompts for self-discovery.
• Find your top five values with the core values finder and the core values list.
• Score eight areas of your life on the wheel of life.
• Keep your answers in one notebook with these bullet journal ideas, from a weekly review page to a gratitude log.
• New to writing things down? Start with how to start journaling, or browse every journaling guide.